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We inherit our emotional patterns like outdated operating systems—recursive, automatic, invisible. Buried inside them is a glaring omission: nobody ever taught us how to feel.
Most of us only possess a surface-level language of emotion. Sadness. Anger. Shame. But when life hits in real-time, the gap between intellectual awareness and actual regulation opens into a canyon—perhaps the most pernicious blind spot in human development.
My guest today is Dr. Marc Brackett, Professor at Yale University, founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, and creator of the RULER approach to social and emotional learning that now reaches seven million children across 5,000 schools worldwide. His journey from childhood trauma to becoming a leading researcher in emotional intelligence embodies the transformative power of what he calls “permission to feel.” His book, Dealing with Feeling: Use Your Emotions to Create the Life You Want, offers practical strategies for navigating the emotional challenges we all face.
“Emotion regulation is the most important skill a human can possess.”
- DR. MARC BRACKETT
Today, we discuss:
- From Childhood Trauma to Yale Professor
- The RULER Framework for Emotional Intelligence
- Permission to Feel & Uncle Marvin Phenomenon
- Why Emotions Aren’t Facts (But They’re Still Data)
- The Meta-Moment Between Stimulus & Response
For those who prefer a visual experience, the conversation is available on YouTube. As always, the audio version streams wild and free on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.
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Peace + Plants,
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- Connect With Marc: Website | Instagram | YouTube
- Book: Dealing with Feeling: Use Your Emotions to Create the Life You Want
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Thank The Team: I do not do this alone. Send your love to Jason Camiolo for audio engineering, production, show notes and interstitial music; with additional audio engineering by Cale Curtis and additional music by Moby; Blake Curtis & Dan Drake for video, & editing; graphics by Jessica Miranda & Daniel Solis; portraits by Davy Greenberg, Grayson Wilder & Gizelle Peters; copywriting by Ben Pryor; and theme music by Tyler Piatt, Trapper Piatt & Hari Mathis.
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